Profiling the eccentric glove-sporting former phenom who died last year. Not Mark "The Bird" Fidrych. The other one. Since many would consider him one of the favorites, I'll kick this whole project off by eulogizing him in the best way I know how: cynical and hypercritical evaluation of his career achievements.
ENTERTAINER
As far as the all-time biggest pop/rock stars go, he's maybe #1 and no lower than #2. A tremendous performer from the beginning. He was a national sensation by age 9, and like few child stars do, delivered on his potential in adulthood. Released the best-selling album ever, with over twice as many copies sold as the next highest. Worldwide, the 2nd-best selling solo artist ever. King of Pop, moonwalker, glove-wearer, crotch-grabber (I'm talking about his own right now), chimpanzee owner.
MJ earned the power to do things any way he wanted, and he usually went all-out. His live megatours were more dance, lighting and effects extravaganzas than concerts. He didn't just make the most expensive music videos (though he holds that record for "Scream"), he made them 10+ minute short films and got famous directors to shoot them. He started the whole Super Bowl halftime show superstar concert trend. He played Scarecrow in The Wiz (see above). He starred in a video game where his character fights off thugs to rescue little girls, all to the tune of a MIDI soundtrack of his hit songs (this is how I first heard "Billie Jean"). He did a Disney 3-D ride sci-fi movie with Francis Ford Coppola. He ruined Free Willy. He undoubtedly has one of the beefiest resumes imaginable for this category. There's only one guy I can think of who compares.
I'm going to dock him a point for some pretty weird personal drama - obviously the child molester allegations as well as being an all-around freak show. You could argue that some of the "Wacko Jacko" allure made him more entertaining, but this stuff most certainly disrupted his opportunity to rule the music world for a little bit longer. Or maybe it's an inevitable product of that kind of success. I dunno.
9.0
SINGER
I grant him a lot of credit for doing a bunch of pretty unique, weird stuff and totally selling it over. You know, all those noises: "Nah!", "Hee-hee!", "Ooooooooow!", "Whoooooooooooo", and of course his megahit 11-minute music video, "Dat dit da did-da, dat didda die". Hear somebody emulate any one of those sounds, and it's instantly indentifiable with MJ.
He was a tremendous singer all around, though. Some of the best singer friends I have, who'd know way better than me, obsess over his abilities. I've seen plenty of live footage and never heard him miss a note.
9.0
SONGWRITER
He performed exclusively other writers' material as a Jackson 5 member and early in his solo career. Then he wrote a couple tunes for Off The Wall, got it up to about half of Thriller, and wrote or co-wrote almost everything on Bad and Dangerous. He was ambitious enough to want to do this as he corralled more control of his career, and I have respect for that. It's not the safe thing to do. And he wound up authoring some of his best stuff.
I'm impressed with the natural rhythm within his melodies, which are always very catchy. Lyrically, it's whatever. I guess it's no better or worse than your average pop drivel. Mostly he says nothing of consequence, but sometimes he tells a good story. No better example than "Billie Jean".
Some notable songs he wrote: "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough", "Billie Jean", "Beat It", "Bad", "Smooth Criminal"
6.5
INSTRUMENTALIST
And here we've uncovered the King of Pop's kryptonite. To the best of my knowledge, he didn't play much, if any, instruments on his recordings (except simple rhythm type stuff) or his live shows. But he did participate heavily in the producing and arranging. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.
3.0
WEIGHTED MUSICAL OUTPUT
I'd describe myself as a casual fan of MJ's work at best. The Jackson 5 era can be summed up in about 3 songs. Most of Off The Wall doesn't appeal to me because it's soaked in disco. I like a lot about Thriller, and a few songs on Bad. Nothing after that is worthwhile. Overall, most of his songs are cheesy or extremely dated or both, and it's much more often annoying than charming.
Top 2%ers
"I Want You Back" (Jackson 5)- A killer hook, great energy, supertight band, and possibly the greatest bass groove ever. All kinds of awesome. The composition and the band are the real stars of this song, but Michael's pre-pubescent voice fits in perfectly, and it's an amazing performance from a little kid. One of the best Motown songs.
"Billie Jean" - The moonwalk song and the Billboard #1 on my birth date. Pretty much represents the epitome of every good thing about his solo career.
Worst Offenses
"I'll Be There" (Jackson 5) - Sappy song all around. A calculated attempt to tug at America's heartstrings by the adults who were exploiting him at the time, people who probably had a significant role in his metamorphosis into a loon. And call me heartless for nitpicking the mispronunciation of a 12-year old, but the first line in the song drives me crazy. "You and I must make a pack/We must bring salvation back". What are we, going camping or something?
"P.Y.T." - I actually think this song is pretty good. But, in retrospect, most creepily ominous lyric ever? "I want to love you/Pretty young thing". This song should've been titled "A Cry For Help".
One-Disc Wonder?
Yes. Definitely. I'm hard-pressed to make it to 60 minutes of essential material, never mind 80.
6.0
DGI SCORE: 6.7
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