Desmondo Greatness Index: Elvis Presley

The man, the myth, the jumpsuit.

ENTERTAINER

He's the original, most recognizable, and most successful rock star in the genre's 60-year (approx.) history. He brought the genre to the masses. He's one of those first-name-is-all-you-need-to-say types. He apparently has sold over a billion records worldwide. At first sight, I figured that had to be wrong, but it seems to be accurate, I guess. And that number is astonishing. He's hundreds of millions ahead of The Beatles, who are hundreds of millions ahead of anybody else.

At age 18, he caught the eye of Sam Phillips, owner of Sun Records. Some things are just universal, and here is one of those things: white people love black people music, but not until after it's presented by another white person (see: Ice, Vanilla - the first rap single to go Billboard #1). And for rock 'n roll, that white person was Elvis. He blended all the rootsy genres of both races: R&B, Soul, Blues, Country, Rockabilly, and more. Cha-ching! National sensation by age 21. He'd go on to have some ridiculous number of number one records and singles that I don't care to count.

His live persona was certainly captivating. He was, of course, highly rebellious, sexually suggestive, and controversial at the time, though today he'd be tamer than Hannah Montana. All his mannerisms are so well-known they've become cliche. Elvis impersonation is a national pastime (searched YouTube for "Elvis impersonator"...6,180 results). Who doesn't recognize phrase "Elvis has left the building"? I've seen a handful of his later Vegas era live performances on video. I'd describe him as "charmingly hokey". I mean this in a good way.


He crossed over into movie stardom with combined success and staying power only topped by musical titans Big Willie Style and Marky Mark. He starred in about 30 films throughout his career. Contrary to what Turner Classic Movies marathons would have you believe, these are not good movies. But the studios kept making them, so I guess that says something. I personally have more admiration for the acting chops of Tom Waits, Dwight Yoakam, Ludacris, Ice Cube, Sting, Queen Latifah, David Bowie...pretty much every music-to-film crossover except Prince. Let it be acknowledged, though, that Elvis has had quite the lasting presence on celluloid.

Aloha from Hawaii in 1973 was the first live concert broadcast via global satellite feed. Much of the world saw it live and some on tape delay later that day, but for whatever reason it didn't air in the continental USA for another four months. Apparently, in all, it was seen by somewhere between 1-1.5 billion viewers, which makes me chuckle for two reasons. First, that number is just absurd. The world population was under 4 billion in 1973. Somewhere between 25-37% of the entire world watched this concert?? And second, the source for the estimate has a 20%, or 500 million person, margin of error. Funny. That, plus finding no verifiable methods of measuring viewership, leaves me with serious doubts about the veracity of this number.

Elvis was also an originator of the now rampant practice of rock stars and pro athletes letting a posse of worthless friends suck off their success like leeches. His was called the Memphis Mafia. I suppose his generosity is partly to blame for many modern atrocities, including Antoine Walker's bankruptcy (how to lose $112 million: 70 dependants. 70!) and Entourage.

He definitely had his personal issues and I feel a little guilty about not deducting for them as I did with Michael Jackson, though MJ's are a good bit more disturbing. Some Elvis examples: He and his momma apparently baby-talked to each other, even in his adulthood. That's pretty weird. He met and first started courting his future ex-wife Priscilla when he was 24 and she was only 14, though he didn't marry her until seven years later. Their daughter even married MJ, but the negative impact of this is whitewashed by Priscilla's involvement in the Naked Gun trilogy. If MJ's legacy persists over the next 30 years in the way that Elvis's has, maybe I will revisit these posts in 2040 and give Michael his point back.

10.0

SINGER

He's a vocal chameleon who could assume most any style convincingly, yet certainly had his own distinct sound. His range is very wide and his tone quality is first-rate. He is very sensitive to dynamics, often using volume and stylistic contrasts. He employs the whispering, the guttural, the quivering, the mumbling, the screaming, the howling, among other natural effects.

He almost always sings his parts purely (plus a little tremolo). He respects the songs enough to deem their melodies more important than his vocal showcasing, unlike most modern day singers polluted by the trill-happy showboaty influence of Mariah Carey and American Idol and others. I don't think that vocal acrobatic displays are totally unwarranted, but it's b.s. to excuse them as just being "soulful". Because trying to show people how awesome you are is not "soulful". That is not genuine, unless you want to be perceived as a genuine narcissist. Sing the damn song. Think about the lyrics you're singing before you go off on some wobbly adventure that will probably have painful pitch problems, all the while making no sense in relation to the words. You have to save up those busy excess vocal runs, so that a) they don't annoy everybody, and b) they retain some dramatic effect. That is your angry tangent and vocal lesson for the day, from me...the guy who can't sing.


Bringing it back to Elvis, he definitely understood this, but I wouldn't commend too much him for it because it was the norm back in his day to sing straight melodies.


9.0

SONGWRITER

His name appears in the credits as a co-writer for nine of his songs, but he actually had nothing to do with the writing. It was just standard swindling on the part of manager Colonel Tom Parker, a guy who, towards the end of Elvis's career/life, was taking 50% of Presley's earnings, plus all the merchandising revenues. He was making more money than his superstar. He extorted some songwriters by giving them two options: a) give Elvis partial writing credit, he'll sing your song, and you'll make good money; or b) keep all the credit, he won't sing your song, and you'll make no money. Half-point for retaining the services of a slick negotiating manager.

0.5

INSTRUMENTALIST

He played guitar on the early Sun Sessions recordings, and frequently held one live though I'm not convinced he used it much. I'm also not convinced he can play B minor. I found this quote by Scotty Moore (Elvis's first lead guitarist) from an interview about 4 years ago. I would copy and paste it, but at the bottom of the web page it says "Do not re-publish this interview" and I am new to this blogging thing and I don't know if that's okay or not. So I'll play it safe and tell you that he was asked to evaluate Elvis's guitar ability, and the gist of the answer was: just okay; he had good rhythm but didn't know many chords. Also, he apparently could play "some" bass and drums, but who can't?

3.0

WEIGHTED MUSICAL OUTPUT

One thing I really appreciate about Elvis's catalog is that the songs rarely go past the 2:30 mark. Now, I can be an advocate of the ridiculously long songs, too ("Supper's Ready" by Genesis, over 22 minutes long, is one of my Top 2%ers). But Elvis's sound and subject matter aren't asking to be epic. He's not singing about the end of the world or an acid trip or a sci-fi saga, and he's not on a jazz exploration. He's the King of Rock 'n Roll. His songs should be short and sweet.

Side note: "Jailhouse Rock" has to be the most openly gay song ever recorded, not counting the Village People. "Shifty Henry said to Bugs, 'For heaven's sake/No one's looking now's our chance to make a break'/Bugs turned to Shifty and he said, 'Nix nix/I want to stick around a while and get my kicks'." I mean, it's just loaded with homoeroticism. "Number 47 said to Number 3/You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see." Where exactly would I find a coed prison? "Little Joe was blowin on the slide trombone." OH, COME ON! Was that totally overlooked in 1957?

Top 2%ers

None that he recorded himself, but the Dwight Yoakam cover of "Suspicious Minds", from the Honeymoon in Vegas soundtrack, is on the list. It's a thing of brilliance. His hillbilly rock voice is an excellent vessel for interpreting Elvis. The cover boosts the tempo and alters the drums for a feel that's bullet train instead of horse carriage, omits the nonsensical fadeout fakeout, remains faithful to the soulful BGVs, adds a sweet staccato string section in the waltz break, and showcases one of the most awesome guitar riffs ever recorded, a part that fits so perfectly I can't listen to the Elvis version without sorely missing it. Here, my 5 favorite cover tunes that supersede the original version (provided the cover artist, original version, and original artist are all at least quasi-famous):

5. "With A Little Help From My Friends" - Joe Cocker, originally by The Beatles

4. "Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley, originally Leonard Cohen (it would be higher if Buckley had preserved the last verse)

3. "Somewhere" - Tom Waits, originally from West Side Story

2. "Suspicious Minds" - Dwight Yoakam, originally Elvis Presley

1. "Hurt" - Johnny Cash, originally Nine Inch Nails

Worst Offenses

I am probably most offended by Elvis when I flip on Turner Classic Movies, hoping to see a spaghetti western or a Hitchcock thriller or a detective noir, and instead I get Viva Las Vegas.

Also...the most successful musician of all time died of a pill overdose on the toilet. This is sad, not offensive, but I've got to mention it somewhere. I feel like Elvis probably identified strongly with the Book of Ecclesiastes in his final days (or years).

One-Disc Wonder?

I'd have to say yes, but ignorantly. He recorded and released too much music to keep up with. I can't say I've heard it all, nor do I have any intention of exploring it all. But I know the hits and then some, and from that I can't say I need more than 80 minutes to sum up Elvis's musical contribution.

5.5

DGI SCORE: 5.6